I think you have actual depression OP. Here are some hotlines:
United States
1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE)
Texting: Text ANSWER to 839863
Spanish: 1-800-SUICIDA
1-800-273-8255
Veterans 1-800-273-8255 Press 1
www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html
www.crisiscallcenter.org//crisisservices.html
EU Standard Emotional Support Number 116 123 - Free and available in much of Europe, details here
Australia
13 11 14
Belgium
02 649 95 55
Brasil
141
Canada
Kids Help Line (Under 18): 1-800-668-6868
Alberta: 1-866-594-0533
British Columbia: 1-888-353-2273
Manitoba: 1-888-322-3019
New Brunswick: 1-800-667-5005
Newfoundland & Labrador: 1-888-737-4668
Northwest Territories: 1-800-661-0844 7pm-11pm everyday
Nova Scotia: 1-888-429-8167
Nunavut: (867) 982-0123
Ontario: 1 800 452 0688
Prince Edward Island: 1-800-218-2885 (Bilingual)
Quebec: 1-866-277-3553 or 418-683-4588
Saskatchewan: (306) 933-6200
For more numbers in all areas please see here
Deutschland
0800 1110 111
Denmark
70 20 12 01
France
01 40 09 15 22
Greece
1018 or 801 801 99 99
Iceland
1717
India
91-44-2464005 0
022-27546669
Iran
1480 6am to 9pm everyday
Ireland
ROI - local rate: 1850 60 90 90
ROI - minicom: 1850 60 90 91
Israel
1201
Italia
800 86 00 22
Malta
179
Japan
03-3264-4343
3 5286 9090
Korea
LifeLine 1588-9191
Suicide Prevention Hotline 1577-0199
Mexico
Saptel 01-800-472-7835
Netherlands
0900 1130113
New Zealand
0800 543 354 Outside Auckland
09 5222 999 Inside Auckland
Norway
815 33 300
Osterreich/Austria
116 123
Romania
116 123
Serbia
0800 300 303 or 021 6623 393
Online chat:http://www.centarsrce.org/index.php/kontakt[2]
South Africa
LifeLine 0861 322 322
Suicide Crisis Line 0800 567 567
Suomi/Finland
010 195 202 available 9am-7am weekdays and 3pm-7am weekends 112, the regular emergency line, may be used at other times
Sverige/Sweden
020 22 00 60
Switzerland
143
Turkey
182
UK
08457 90 90 90 (24hrs)
0800 58 58 58 (open 5pm to midnight nationwide)
0808 802 58 58 (Open 5pm to midnight London)