There's a bunch of things "off" on your perspective and it's likely not exactly your fault. I think you're a perfect candidate to read Robert Glover's book No More Mr. Nice Guy. You're going to have to change your mindset on what your role is in a marriage. You are not the sole responsibility for you're wife's happiness. Stop taking on that burden. Also, start taking responsibility for your own happiness. Do things you want to do without guilt. Now I'm not saying start neglecting your obvious responsibilities but you do need to stop self sacrificing. You're perception of marriage is eschewed because all your seeing is those who are also sacrificing themselves because that's the crowd you run in. Get out and go do other stuff. You'll start seeing other dads and husbands with far more successful setups and your perception should change.