Howard Stern first played a tape of his Wack Pack recreating current movies that he'd like to sell as a PPV joke. Nicole Bass and homeless drunk Jeff Kuro on a Madonna-like island in "Swept Away."
Jeff first tells Nicole to get him a beer and open her mouth so he can drain his lizard. Stern the narrator says: She's in love with him and doesn't hear the insults. Nicole Bass: You want my private parts? That's right Einstein. Drop that thong and let me violate your personal airspace!" Jeff Kuro: "Oh my god, you're not a chick, you're a dude. Bitch!" Nicole(actually contributing her voice-overs). That's a vagina, I swear!
Stephanie McMahon finally arrived.
Stern and Robin Quivers ask if any of Chyna's allegations about Steph stealing Triple H away from her are true. Steph: I'm sure, according to Joanie, I'm the bitch. It was definitely a big deal for Triple H to date me. If he cheated on me, we wouldn't fire him, but it wouldn't be a good situation.
Robin: You change their storylines, you'd ruin him. Steph: It was a tough decision for us to make. I just was attracted to him in every way.
Stern: Did you think he was a freak, because Chyna's a freak? Steph: He was in love with her at the time. I thought she was beautiful. By the time I came around, things weren't so good as I understand it. There's much more detail. At the time we started our on-screen storyline, we hit it off. I was dating somebody else at the time too who thought I had the hots for Triple H,but I didn't know it. We have to rehearse, we're live, and have such a passion for the business. It just worked.
Stern: And he gets the mother-load. Quivers: Did it ever cross your mind that he had his eye on the whole shebang - that he wants it all and to run everything? That could be part of the attraction, especially when your father's a billionaire. Steph: He was a great father. When I was born, he was with my pregnant mom in towtruck on his way to declare bankruptcy. I'm behind the scenes. I get a salary from WWE. I went to a private school, I shot down my first passion of being a choreographer. My mom wanted me to be a doctor. He doesn't cheat on my mom anymore. You don't have to rub it in. At first I was mad at him. That's not my style. I have had some fights with my father.
Stern: You don't want him to disown you, so you help write some of the scripts, and you have wrestled. Steph: Shane was, at one time, part of the creative process, not now. Triple H was very flirtatious. He used to drop hints and I wondered if he was hitting on me. Our storyline was that we were married, I'd be sitting on his lap. I didn't feel anything if he did. He felt my leg when he was on the floor, not part of the script. I liked it a lot. It was a very touchy situation. I knew it was forbidden in our business for me to date any of the wrestlers, (jokes) this is rules for disowning. They (Triple H and Chyna) were getting out of the house they bought together. We stopped talking when I discovered she was still living at their house together. Vince could see what was going on. He gave the okay, then took it away. So if it was meant to be(in real life), it was meant to be.
Stern plays Chyna interview again... Chyna: It broke my heart. I think that Stephanie had a real opportunity to gain some respect, and she really disappointed me as a woman with that unprofessional behavior. Do you think Triple H is sitting pretty Howard? Once you rope yourself into that family, that's a 24/7 job. He's going to be Mr. Kiss Ass from now on.
Steph: She was just telling me how she felt there. Would I fight her, if she picked a fight with me? I didn't say I could take her though. I would defend myself.
Stern: Who's Saliva? Steph: They're hot right now and did the song for our pay-per-view.
Robin: Do you think the business is in trouble? Steph: I don't think we're in the spot we want to be, our numbers are down. I don't think we're in dire straights, not as strong as we'd like it to be.
Caller: Steph graced us twice with the site of her beautiful breasts popping out. Stern: That's a nip slip. Steph: And you have the footage right here! I was horrified, it wasn't planned. It's unnerving. Says she's open about breast implants. I lost a lot of weight, and they shrank to two melted packets of butter.
Caller Two: does the name Paul ring a bell to you? A buddy of mine named Paul used to sleep with Stephanie and (caller gone). Stern: Vince nuked his ass.
Caller Three: Was the real reason Stone Cold left because you used a strap-on on him? Steph: I don't know what Steve's into, but we didn't use a strap-on on him, on-camera. I'd marry Triple H, if he asked. I don't know how the whole inheritance, financial thing will work out. I have stock. But who knows if there's going to be a wedding.
Caller (pretending to be Joanie): I'm very sick of you, and your father had sex with me. Thanks for taking Triple H away from me, you bitch. Steph: Was he (Vince) any good?
Caller: Triple H is taking up too much time, many on internet say that it's because he's your boyfriend. Steph: Yes, it's my plan to run the company into the ground.
Steph on her breasts: They were swollen last year, and I'm still losing weight, I was thinking of getting them bigger, just one size. It's a D. Because I'm a big girl. Stern: You can go a size up. Robin: She's got big breasts now.
Last caller (John again): A buddy of mine, Paul, used to sleep with Steph. He says she loves being tied up and loves anal. Stern: That's a heavy accusation. Steph: (jokes) I love anal, can't get enough. I'm open to trying anything. Triple H would like it, too. I probably will at some point. Triple H is actually the first Paul I've ever dated. It was unsuccessful the first time I did bondage, I didn't like it. Maybe some other time.
Stern: I feel she's experimented with anal. Steph: I'd be willing to.
Same caller: Howard, what's the chance she'd give me anal if I came down? Steph: I'd have to give him anal with the strap-on I used on Stone Cold.
Caller (Male voice): How can I score some steroids? My name is Denise. Stern: Now you beat Nicole Bass (in court). Steph: Because she wasn't, the jurors said she was just lying. I testified too. We didn't back down. We're about pride.
Erik the Wheelchair Midget: I like Smackdown better than Raw. Stern: You have an S&M fixation, with Brittney Spears posters in your room, you're never gonna get laid going on like this.
Erik: WWE should have a band playing before/after the matches to give it a party atmosphere. Stern: You've never pleasured yourself thinking about her, whacking it? Steph: I'd be offended if he hadn't.
PPV and TE3 plugged. My character's changed, now I'm in a business suit.
Artie does an Erik Bischoff impression: By the power vested in me... I pronounce you gay wrestlers. Stern: Erik, go back and stare at your posters.
Steph on sex with Triple H: Triple H bangs me hard when I like it hard. I like a variation. Best sex I've ever had. I've not sex with a woman, but I had a woman come on to me. Last PPV, I almost had HLA. They were starting to kiss me, I kinda liked it. I've been to strip clubs. I'm sure Triple H would love me to bring home another girl. Who knows, I'm just not there yet. Triple H is groomed. I'm totally shaved, I have no hair down there.
Stern: I love that look. I don't wax, I hate waxing, it's very painful. They ask comedian Dave Chappelle if his wife is shaved. He refuses to answer since his wife is Asian. "If Stephanie says she's got a hairless vagina..."
Stern: Does Triple H have hair on his balls? Steph: I don't think he's got ball hair. He doesn't have a lot of hair there to begin with. When we see each other, three times a week. I don't even count (sex/week).
Artie: She's very articulate for someone who went to the Greenich Private School Steph: It just makes me wanna fight (when other female schoolmates criticize her).