Update on the uro appointment: the doctor is great. Three different major REs in the Chicago area use him as the go-to guy, and he really knows his stuff. He's got an amazing bedside manner (more on that later) and made sure to answer any and all questions we had. It's amazing that Type-A me was still bashful to ask questions that include the words "ejaculate", "testicles", etc. I think it's because (a) it's not my hardware that I'm discussing, and (b) the guy who's hardware it IS about it sitting right next to me.

He pointed out that SquirrelBoy does produce sperm, he found no less than three issues that could be a cause--cell phone in the pocket/laptop on the junk, mild varioceles, and previous hernia surgery that may be creating a blockage. Also, now I'm the proud owner of a Google search history that include "slightly soft testicles".

I was expecting one main thing he might find, but not three--and that really means at least three because SquirrelBoy is going to have hormone labs done too.

But what scared me shitless was when we were going over SquirrelBoy's previous two SAs (2MM total count in first, too few to count in second) that he immediately and very decisively said that SquirrelBoy needs to make an appointment with our RE to start freezing his sperm, to make sure that we have some when we need it. I hadn't heard of this for MFI before (especially since we're going to have to use ICSI anyways with his counts), and at first it sounded to aggressive. When we asked when he should go in, he said that he needs to go TOMORROW to start provided samples for freezing.

Jesus Christ! What, are his balls going to explode between now and our RE appointment next Wednesday?! What the hell does he think is going to happen??!?!

So I'm reeling--because that sounds aggressive and unnecessary--and the three of us (two Squirrels and a nut doctor, HA!) go up to the nurses station/reception desk to set up SquirrelBoy's future appointments. Between going back for the blood draw, needing him to freeze sperm with the RE, and then go back and give more sperm for another SA with the uro, I became completely overwhelmed. It was all too much.

So then I started to cry.

Once the doctor saw what was happening and knew that I couldn't keep myself from bawling, he put his arm around me and ushered me back into his office to let me cry in private (even thinking about it now is making me sob again). I apologized profusely, and I said that it's not OK for me to cry--this is my husband's appointment, not mine. They both (doctor, SquirrelBoy) told me it was OK and the doctor said to take as much time as I needed. I told him, "But it's not fair to your other patients for me to make them wait!" and he said that it's OK, he always runs a little late and they understand. He was amazing. He reminded us that we do have a little sperm to work with, which I'm very grateful for. Then he quietly left the office and closd the door behind him.

After Dr. Idiot's terrible bedside manner (my old OB/GYN), it feels weird to have doctors treating us who act like they really care. I cried for a few more minutes, tried to put on my big girl pants and got it together (giving myself permission to cry again at home, check).

When we came back out to make the appointments, he asked if I was feeling OK. He's not even treating me, and he cares about me!

So I feel awful right now, but I think that we've assembled a great team of professionals to help us. If you're in the Chicago area and need a uro, PM me and I'll get you his name.

Also, thanks to all of you. Today is a hard day for me and I know that you guys and gals understand what it feels like to cry in a doctor's office, or be overwhelmed with everything that treatment requires, or be tired of waiting, or wish that it didn;t have to be so hard. Thanks for being there for me, and everyone else on this sub.