TIFU - I ate a hot pocket and now my girlfriend thinks I'm cheating. FML

Nah, no worries. I suffer from chronic pain and depression, it's a bitch to overcome, and sadly eating is a real problem for me because of it. I also yo-yo diet because of it, so I'll get back down in the 250-260 range, then back up into the 290-300 range when/if I re-injure my back. There are many other factors, but those two influence it the most with the exception of weed. I also quit smoking pot, which is seriously where 70% of my shitty diet comes from.

No pot, no extra meal of junkfood at night = I lose weight. It's hard to quit smoking when you're in chronic pain and are opioid tolerant. I have no pain management outside of weed and $5k steroid injections once a year if I can afford them, so daily life is a struggle, doubly so to actually exercise. However, since I've quit smoking, I'm feeling better and eating less, and the weight is coming off. I'm also starting PT again in a week, which will make a big difference.

Now, ~220-230 is my optimal weight. I'm 6'4", but I also wear a 28" inseam. I don't fit on roller coasters at all comfortably because my shoulders are too broad for example. http://imgur.com/rMSbQYE This is me at 235 in college (sorry for the shitty pic, but I hope it gets the idea across). http://imgur.com/LIsnXO0 This is me at 235 ~7 years later. Notice how I'm diagonal in the photobooth meant for two so I don't take up all the space because of my shoulders. If you think I can lose 55 pounds, well, you're just wrong. I'm one of the people for whom BMI isn't accurate. I can't weigh much less than that... At least, not much in a practical sense. I'll have some loose skin, but you can't just diet that away. I suppose I could probably be around 220, but I can't not work out if I lose weight, that's how I fucked up my neck/back in the first place, and that muscle weighs something. I lost 100 pounds after a surgery just by not eating (2nd pic), and eating small meals, but since I didn't work out, when I went and did some fairly strenuous activity (roto-tilling a field), I blew a few discs.

Also, for me at least, weight loss is "easy", at least once my stomach shrinks a bit. I'll lose a pound every day or two once I get going, and once I start seeing it come off, it's my motivation to keep doing it. It's keeping it off that's hard, thus the yo-yo dieting.

The TDEE tells me pretty much what I've always used as a benchmark. Eating 2000 calories a day, I'll lose weight. I'm not a fatty in denial about it, I know why I'm fat. I also get no support from my wife when I diet, which makes it that much harder each time I do it. I've gone from 300+ to 250 or less 4 times in my life, and there's usually a long period of 270-280 in there, which for me isn't horrible. (Size wise, health wise it's terrible). She never supports me, and I'm relatively certain she's happier when I'm fat because then it makes her look less fat and she can eat more, IDFK. If we didn't have a kid, I'd have left a long time ago, but that boat sailed.

Now back to the Hotpockets, I don't think 700 calories for lunch is too much when I don't eat breakfast, and dinner is usually an 8-10oz serving of meat, a side of veggies, and 1/2c of rice (which I skip 60% of the time in favor of more veg). That's less than 2000 calories a day. I also don't eat 700 calories for lunch daily, I normally either eat sandwiches or wraps with a small amount of meat and cheese and only mustard, or no lunch at all. That fast tracks the weight loss. OTOH, it's why I have a hard time maintaining, because once I lose the weight, if I start to eat lunch regularly, I have to watch everything else closely.

With all due respect, I find that difficult to believe. Someone who values health even a little does not become obese. That takes years of unhealthy eating without doing much about it.

Really though, it's whether or not I'm smoking pot. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have no impulse control when I'm high, so I just eat and eat. Like an entire bag of chips, then some ice cream, and whatever else I can find. Nightly if I have it. That's why I quit. Sadly, it doesn't take me years to put the weight on when I eat like that, more like a year tops for 50#'s.

I do appreciate the post and concern, and I can only assure you that I am working towards getting healthy again. My biggest issue is getting good cardio, but I tried an elliptical machine recently and it didn't hurt my back like a treadmill or even walking fast does. I'll probably never be able to run again in my life, but I can get the heart rate up on one of those.

Sorry for the long post, but it's one of my biggest pet peeves when people tell me about my weight because of BMI, or that I can lose 50#'s past what I know is normal for me. I hope the pictures reflect that, normally I'd never post anything like that on reddit, but I'm going to delete this account soon anyway because it has too much identifying information on it, so I might as well add a little more.

/r/tifu Thread Parent