TIFU by almost hooking up with my girl best friend.

You sound like me when I was your age. I was too chicken to man up and tell girls that I was close with that I wanted them. So much so that I didn't even notice the signs that they wanted to be with me too. And so I was stuck in the friend zone. Guess what I learned after 20 years, many actual loves, and now married? YOU create the friend zone and put yourself in it. Girls want a guy that knows what he wants and expresses at least some self-confidence.

The reality is she offered herself to you and you rejected her. Maybe even hurt her feelings. If you two really do have such a connection then screw the LDR. Man up and get that girl. And now you have more work to do than before since she's not going to be so willing to put herself in such a vulnerable situation again.

Finally by like 17 I changed things. I got the girl. I started being assertive. I started being straightforward and telling girls when I liked them. I wasn't a jerk, but I was somewhat blunt. From that age onward I never had a girl not date me, that I had a genuine connection with. I'm overweight, I'm not a dude with tight shirts, big abs, a six-pack and big arms. It really is all about your mentality and attitude. It might seem cheesy and cliche' but it really is that simple.

I remember one time I was in a situation like yours, and the difference is, I allowed the emotional connection to happen. Guess what? She's now my wife. Did it suck for the dude that was interested in her? Yup. Guess what else? He was the guy that was too shy to make a move. (And before you think in a jerk they were not dating each other, and she and I were best friends, he was just interested). She flat out told me that she couldn't see herself with him because he wasn't assertive enough.

I did have a couple girls break up with their SO to be with me because they decided that I was a better option at the time. But I also always told them that I wasn't going to be in the middle of any kind of relationship, and that I was never ok with cheating. That if they really are unhappy with the current guy, then be fair and break it off, then we can do our thing.

tl;dr Suck it up and tell her you love her and want to be her guy. Otherwise you're just screwing yourself and possibly her out of being happy.

/r/tifu Thread Parent