Fuck, I wasn't going to respond, but most of the people here are idiots.

Ok dude, if you want to fix your relationship, listen to me very carefully.

A relationship has two sides, a mental side and an chemichal side (phermones, etc).

Typically, the chemichal side wears off after 4 or so years. To do a relationship right ... during those first 4 years, it is extremely important to create strong mental bonds, so you have something there when the chemichal bonds fade away. Often, people don't naturally know how to create an effective mental bond, and need an expert to train them (like a counselor). Often, if a relationship has a strong chemichal bond, the good feelings can hide problems on the mental side, and blow up in your face once the 4 year window wears off.

However, it usually is possible to reset those chemichal bonds. If you have no exposure to the other persons scent for a few months, that usually does it.

During those 4 months, you can hire a professional to train both of you to communicate with each other. Even if you have no physical contact, you should put great effort into mental/emotional bonding.

If there was a lot of hurt and poor choices (like cheating, or hurtfull accusations and name calling, or abuse, or drugs, or emotional neglect, for several years straight) the relationship may be damaged beyond repair.

My personal advice is that if you have kids, you should try to get professional help and work through a cheat, if not, you should get out, there is just way way too much risk with a cheater. Any potential damage that is done with a cheater is magnified by 100x once you have kids. Take it from somebody who learnt the hard way, don't ever do it.

For a serious mental or physical abuser, you have to do whatever it takes to protect the kids. You have a moral duty to put your feelings aside, and put the kids interests first. Sometimes it means working it through with professional help when you would rather leave, other times it means kicking the person the fuck out even if you still love or rely on them.

Another thinkg you need to keep in mind, men often identify as "doers" and women as "feelers". As in, they don't necissairly need you to "solve" their problems, they just need somebody to express their fustration to.

Good luck, Hope that helps.