TIFU by letting my snake fall asleep on my face.

A little background before i begin, this didn't actually happen today but rather a few months back but while i was putting my snake back in his cage after letting him roam my room a bit reminded me that it may be worth putting here so here i go.

The day started off pretty normal id wake up, see that Roy (the name the previous owners gave to my snake)is trying to to get out of his cage so like always ill let him out and let him roam my bed room for an hour or two till he finds a spot he'd like to nap at.

On rare occasions he'll decide that on my lap is a nice play or behind my pillow would be a nice place to sleep.

But today this fucker decides it would be ok if he falls asleep on my head half covering my face while i'm laying in bed watching shows on my laptop.

Really i didn't think much of it at the time i thought it was cute that he was finally getting use to me because i had only had him for 4-5 months by then.

Although what i should have been thinking about was how pissed this fucker gets when i wake him up. Its crazy how pissed he gets sometimes ill bump his cage and hell just start striking at the glass where my feet are(his cage is on the ground not raised of the floor)and ive woken him up before only to receive a small bite to which he quickly realizes he cant swallow me and lets me go.

However today was different i was laying there minding my own business when my dad walks into my bedroom telling me my friend was at the door.

I obviously got up slowly as to not wake him or even i did it wouldn't be very sudden as to anger him to much but as i was getting up i slipped and flopped on my bed i guess when i did this it pissed the fuck out of him because he bit the fuck out of my ear at first i thought he was gonna let go until i felt him start to coil around my arm at this point im freaking the fuck out and im in the bathroom trying to pry the demon off my ear.

My dad then walking into the bathroom too see my 4 1/2 foot ball python fully warped around my arm trying to swallow my ear. He starts trying to pull the snake off my ear which causes the worst pain ive felt in my entire life no joke. (if you dont know was snake teeth are like its like 20 razor sharp hooks that you cant pull out)

After about a 2 mins of this pulling on my ear and me screaming in pain i remember a video where this guy got bite by his snake so he put the snake in water so of course me being in the bathroom i decide to use the shower to get him off this is where i went full retard i paid no attention to how hot or cold the water was and anybody who knows what cold blooded animals do when sudden temperature changes happen know whats gonna happen next.

He fucking went wild but he didn't losen his grip at all if anything he bit down harder and at that point my dad just fucking ripped it off my ear i still cant get the sound of tearing cartilage out of my head.

TL;DR let my snake fall asleep on my head friend was at door got up snake got mad bit down on my ear didn't let go dad had to rip snake off my ear friend went home. PS this is my first type of post like this ik its probably boring go easy on me.

I'm not very good at formatting Reddit posts but here is some spacing at least.

/r/tifu Thread