3. TIFU by watching "Her".

TIFU by watching "Her".

TEXT VOICE  

SEXYKITTEN has accepted invitation from BigGuy4x4. Chat begins now.  

A chime sounds.  

SEXYKITTEN

(shy, sweet, sleepy)

BigGuy.  

THEODORE Hi. SEXYKITTEN Really? THEODORE Well, studmuffin was already taken. Her pg. 7 CONTINUED: (CONTINUED) SEXYKITTEN (laughs) Yeah. THEODORE So you’re SEXYKITTEN, huh? SEXYKITTEN Mmm, well yeah. Hey, I’m half asleep. Do you wanna wake me up? THEODORE Yes. Definitely. Um... are you wearing any underwear? SEXYKITTEN No, never. I like to sleep with my ass pushed up against you. So I can rub myself into your crotch and wake you up with a hard on. THEODORE smiles. THEODORE It worked. (beat) And now my fingers are touching you all over your body. SEXYKITTEN (getting more turned on) Fuck me! Now! Please! THEODORE is touching himself. THEODORE I’m taking you from behind. We see abstract visions of a woman on top of him. The woman is the pregnant, sexy daytime television star he was reading about online earlier. SEXYKITTEN Choke me with that dead cat! THEODORE (breathing hard about to climax) What? Her pg. 8 CONTINUED: (2) (CONTINUED) SEXYKITTEN (fully into it) The dead cat next to the bed. Choke me with it! Beat. He’s taken out of it. THEODORE (uncomfortable, trying to play along) Um, okay. SEXYKITTEN Tell me. THEODORE I’m choking you with the cat. SEXYKITTEN TELL ME! Keep telling me! THEODORE I’ve got it’s tail and I’m choking you with the cat’s tail. SEXYKITTEN YEAH, YOU ARE! FUCK! TELL ME! THEODORE I’m choking you and it’s tail is around your neck. It’s so tight around your neck. SEXYKITTEN YES! YES! THEODORE doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t want to offend her. THEODORE I’m pulling it. I’m pulling it. The cat’s dead. It’s a dead cat around your neck and I’m pulling it. SEXYKITTEN AHHHHHHHHHHHH. OH MY GOD! Her breathing is slowing down. SEXYKITTEN (CONT’D) Oh god, I came so hard. Her pg. 9 CONTINUED: (3) (CONTINUED) THEODORE Yeah. Me too. SEXYKITTEN Okay, good night. THEODORE takes his earpiece out and stares at the ceiling.

/r/tifu Thread
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Recently removed from /r/tifu

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