okay it'll take a week or two I'll look into it. gotta ask my parents for money but have to wait a few days at least, now won't work.
You know what my issue was? This'll sound stupid. I used to run long distance, 40-50 miles a week, and used to do track workouts
I had these shoes which were perfect for me, they held my toes together, a slight drop from heel to toe, not socks but fairly thin (just the right thickness) and they were higher on the inside of my heel than the outside. Meaning they were designed for overpronators. Which I'm guessing I am. So the insides of my feet were always up and my weight would be on my toes if I ran properly. It was easy to use my legs to run, because it was natural to fall forward in those shoes, my hips didn't have to work against my body or do too much work to move.
Those got torn up and I bought a different pair of shoes. Funny how a small decision can screw you up so much. I eventually dropped out of xc after getting injured. Those shoes were the opposite, designed for underpronators. I wasn't a shoe expert at the time (still not but know better about this, unfortunately through experience) and I bought them because they looked cool. Running in them made my knees go inward, because they had the outside of my feet raised higher than the inside. So I walked like a girl does with bow legged inward bent knees. This developed after a while because I had the attitude that you just run through the pain and eventually will improve. That's what had worked for me before, but I didn't realize what the shoes were doing. I hadn't even noticed at first. Through long distance running combined with fasting I had had to do at the time, I lost the mas I had in my quads and barely used them anymore. From track workouts to long runs struggling and fighting my body's mechanics. I'm probably going to have to rehab my legs if I want to get back into running, and get the right shoes next time. Believe it or not it can make a huge difference. I played myself without knowing it.
And because I stopped running, I stopped lifting and doing other things. That's how this started, and I'm trying to fix it.
Boy doesn't that suck? I was so dumb. Thinking about it is kind of sad, if only I had known better, I had had so much potential and could have gone so far. But I screwed up and there's nothing I can do now. I mean I can get back on track, but xc is over. Oh well.
Isn't that such a bummer dude? It snuck up on me. The worst things that happen to you are the ones you don't see coming. It's not the big major threat that scares you in front of you, it's the poison that you aren't aware is a poison so you accept it and it slowly envelops you, and by the time you realize what's happened, it's too late.
It's a metaphor. Totally poetic and shit.
Do you get it?