TIL that 65% of cancer survivors surveyed by war on cancer said that they had been ghosted by friends or family after their diagnosis.

Three perspectives;

Friend with a terminal brain illness in 2015; I realize now how afraid of death I was and could not face the idea of him dying. That’s on me, and I regret never making the time to see him when I could have.

Friend diagnosed with throat cancer in 2012; terminal illness, mortality conditions, and/or trauma can warp people. He got very vocal with antivax bullshit, meat poisons the environment so even his vegetarian diet is compromised, flu shots caused his cancer, etc. He welcomed his friends, at first, but progressively set the bar so high with precautions that I could not realistically meet; must wear a mask, gloves, shoe covers, ok sure no problem (this was like 2014). It eventually turned into basically scrubbing in, no friends with animal contact, no friends with vaccinations, no friends who’ve had blood transfusions. He survived throat cancer only to die from complications from an illness caused by drinking raw milk and refusing medical treatment until he was severely dehydrated and lost consciousness.

Friend diagnosed with leukemia in 2016; literally ghosted everyone we mutually knew but remained fb friends for us all to see, just would not interact with anyone or respond to messages. His family (wife, daughter) and god was his entire life now. I ran into him in with his wife, I said hi and he pretended not to know me. His wife, who knew me but was not on facebook, was confused because I met her through him. That night he blocked everyone we mutually knew and that was the last I saw or heard of him.

This is all anecdotal, but I feel confident in saying that terminal illness has the potential to warp people, and that plays out in so many social ways. Be friends, be genuine, have some understanding but temper your expectations as people aren’t linear equations.

I hope this helps anyone that’s ever been in any of these situations and feels awkward about it.

/r/todayilearned Thread Link - aroncancer.com