As I sit quietly on the bus in my cargo shorts, Doctor Who tshirt, white New Balances, and mid calf Hanes socks I put on my Audio Technica MH-80's to listen to Metallica off my Microsoft Zune. My Motorola Razor buzzes as my Mom/roommate texted me to tell me that there was meatloaf in the fridge. Suddenly my bliss was interrupted by a gang of "urban" boys boarding the bus. They sat adjacent to me and even Kirk Hammett shredding the guitar like a boss couldn't silence their racket. I observed their impractical Air Jordans and their baseball caps with those silly flat brims. "Surely these wouldn't protect from the sun" I thought. All of them had so called 'smart phones' and even worse, they were iSheep products. "Yo, check out my last retweet. That shit was fire" said one of them. I was confused by this peasantry language as well as disgusted by the mention of social media. Social media is too stupid for the intellectually superior such as myself. One of them began to play some rap music from his Beats. I scoffed at the foolishness of the purchase of such a product. An audiophile like me knows better. A young 'exotic' girl whom I believed to be from the South American region of the world began to make conversation with one of the boys. "How can she be so inconsiderate and ignorant?" I asked myself. Clearly she was a whore because if she were a cultured woman she would have made conversation with a real man like me. A man that has bought his own Futon bed. A man that has built his own PC. I began to lose faith in this generation. Soon, my 5 kilometer (the imperial system is the root of all evil) bus ride would be coming to a close. Finally this horror show would be over. I exited the bus and began my 4.5 minute (8 if I want Slim Jims from 7-11) Hajk back home. I opened the door to my home sweaty and wheezing and went straight for the kitchen. I opened the fridge and took out the meatloaf that my mother had made. "That bitch" I thought, "this is the second time she has made it this month". I retired to my mancave, filled with contempt for the day. I Booted my watercooled PC in seconds thanks to my SSD's. I set up my proxy's and VPN's just in case the NSA was trying to silence my new age thinking. My cat brushed her tail on my leg and frightened me, making me jump and knocking my 2 liter of Mountain Dew from its perch. It spilled upon my copy of George Orwell's "1984". Now even more angry I went to /r/AdviceAnimals[1] and made a confession bear post about how much I despise "Hip-Hop culture". Still not satisfied I signed into my alternate account and made another post about how I was the victim of racism and that the white male is in danger. Even though both my posts sat well above 3000 upvotes I was still unsatisfied. I quickly noticed that someone had mentioned "God" in the comments section of one of my posts. "Disgusting" I thought as I preceded to go through this mans entire comment history and downvote everything. This easy because of my unrivaled accuracy with a mouse. Then I saw a picture of a girl on /r/pics[2] . "This makes me horny" I thought as I pulled up an incognito window. I reached for my penis pump that sat next to my League of Legends figurines. I pulled up my favorite Hentai website and began to fap furiously to questionably aged girls. After I had achieved euphoria I went back to Reddit to browse /r/conspiracy[3] to get my daily dose of enlightenment and was reminded that /r/jailbait[4] had been banned. "Fucking SJW Jews" I fumed. I thought it unhealthy for me to still be up at this hour and retired to my futon where I grew anxious of any social interaction that might occur the following day. "This never would have happened in Sweden" I whispered mournfully.