TIL: In her 85 years of life, Napoleon Bonaparte's mother (1750-1836) lived long enough to see the collapse of the French monarchy, the French Revolution, the crowning of her son as Emperor, his death, the collapse of his empire, and the restoration of the monarchy.

What the Frank did you just Franking say about me, you little pagan? I'll have you know I graduated top of my court in Austrasia, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the Saxons, and I have over 300 confirmed vassal chieftains. I am trained in post-Roman heavy infantry warfare and I'm the top knight in the entire Frankish military. You are nothing to me but just another usurper. I will wipe you the Frank out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Earth, mark my Franking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Saracen. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Gaul and Germania, and your allodial title is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, pagan. You're Franking dead, Lombard. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with the tip of a lance. Not only am I extensively trained in armed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Holy Roman Empire and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your Franking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're Franking dead, pagan.

/r/todayilearned Thread Parent Link - en.wikipedia.org