TIL A key symptom of depression is anhedonia, typically defined as the loss of ability to experience pleasure. It is a core feature of depression, but it is also one of the most treatment-resistant symptoms. Using ketomine, researchers found over-activity in the brain blunting reward seeking

This is super specific to roller coasters and depression...

But i love roller coasters. Its kinda twisted. Let me explain:

That moment when everyone is feeling things... im just there.

Im not frightened. Im not excited. Im not anything. Im a guy strapped to a machine.

I spend so much time genuinely wondering "do i feel things like other people? Do i just handle the same things differently?" That when i get to see the pictures... there's the answer. When we crest the tallest hill on the coaster... im the only one who seems to be not human.

Nothing. No smile. No "oh shit" face. Nothing. I dont even brace myself anymore. Its just happening to me and i dont seem to even be there.

Other people? They look alive. like they have emotions and feelings and you can even see in a photograph how they feel at that moment.

I never buy the picture. Why would i? Its like having a picture of a sack of potatoes with googly eyes on it. I was there and even i cant identify any spark of life in the picture.

Even at an amusement park... even on a roller coaster (which i do truly enjoy)... nothing.


Friends and family? They know/think i hate everything. I dont get invited to things because "i know you arent into that kind of thing"

It breaks my heart. The people who know me best think im a cold monster. And thats on a good day.

I dont know how to explain that i just dont have the energy to pretend that i feel in the way they expect. All the platitudes in the world cant make up for that feeling that your best and only friend feels like you just dont care.

You dont... but your most profound wish is that you did... that you could. And that you knew how to express that you did.

Sorry... i rambled...

/r/todayilearned Thread Parent Link - medicalxpress.com