TIL: A lawyer wrote a BS threatening letter to The Cleveland Browns, they responded by warning him that "some asshole" must be impersonating him and sending threatening letters.

This is not the most ridiculous maneuver attempted by an attorney. There was a married couple in Kansas who attempted to intervene in a federal case by arguing that same-sex marriage would rob them of their property rights by devaluing their Kansas marriage. The husband is an attorney, and here are some of the highlights from the motion:

10. The Unruhs have a [sic] inalienable property right in their marriage that is protected by the 5th Amendment of the United States Constitution, the Kansas Constitution and related Kansas Statutes. "nor shall any person ......... be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law...". 5th Amendment to the United States Constitution. [sic]

11. If the Plaintiffs are successful in their causes of action the meaning of marriage will be so fundamentally and profoundly changed that the Unruh's [sic] will experience a taking of their property rights in marriage without due process of law.

12. The Unruhs claim a property right in marriage that is the subject of this action and is so situated that disposing of this action may as a practical matter impair or impede Unruhs' ability to protect their interest in the institution of marriage that forms the substance of their relation unless the Unruhs are permitted to represent that interest. Fed. R. Civ. P. 24(a)

13. A decision to declare the Kansas amendment and applicable statutes unconstitutional would violate the equal rights and due process protection clauses of the fourteenth amendment [sic] to the United States Constitution with respect to the Unruhs not Plaintiffs in that:

  a) The Unruhs and other married people would be singled out for a solution to the problems Plaintiffs complain result from their choice of a same sex relationship.

  b) **The extension of marriage to same sex relationship inflicts profound harm on the Unruhs. For the courts to say that from this day forward marriage in Kansas must be extended to a same sex couple is and for ever** [*sic*] **will be deeply disturbing to the Unruhs** and undoubtedly to those that cared enough to pass an amendment to protect it, a department from the jot and celebration normally associated with the word marriage. **Disturbed, not because of bigotry, but out of solemn respect for what marriage is, what it has meant to them and to society in general.** Marriage is perhaps the single most valuable institution society has ever had. **The standards established by marriage and its exclusive nature enjoyed by the Unruhs can not** [*sic*] **be ignored or impaired without fundamental civil rights of the Unruhs being disturbed and married being discriminated against.**

   c) The Kansas amendment is rationally related to many legitimate and compelling governmental purposes including: responsible procreation, effective parenting, and the desire to proceed cautiously in this evolving area. Page 1, dissenting opinion of Circuit Judge Kelly in *Kitchen*. [*sic*]

14. The Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, enforceable pursuant to 42. U.S.C. § 1983, provides that no states shall "deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law." U.S. Constit. Amend. XIV, § 1. A ruling extending marriage to same sex relationships would derive the Unruhs of a property right without due process of law under the 14th amendment [sic] of the United States Constitution.


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