TIL of Lucy, a chimpanzee who was raised to believe she was human. She learned to sign over 250 words and some of her hobbies included drinking gin, browsing Playgirl magazines, and masturbating using a vacuum cleaner.

And my depression reaches a new moment, a new feeling, and adds a new dimension to my feelings for animals.

I'm very empathic. Not to sound pretentious. But the only way I can understand a sentient thing is to put myself in its shoes. Putting myself in her shoes caused a chaotic and awful and terrifying feeling. Absolute outsider, absolute loner, absolute inability to make others around you understand your own feelings, actions and reactions.

I relate so hard to that. I'm deeply saddened that her end was so violent because she must have been so terribly scared, lost, looking for her human protectors, wondering why this was happening.

I don't think I'll sleep well tonight.

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