There's stages of dependency, as well as levels that some people never rise above. I'd say you and your husband are absolutely nowhere on the problem "chart" if such a thing exists. Non-drinkers try to go with volume sometimes as a defining problem. "Oh you had more than 3 in one sitting! Alcoholic!"
Negative.
However, I would definitely look back at my younger years and say I was an alcoholic, despite being nowhere near the desperate level described above. I had a system in my early 20's where I would buy a 20-case of beer every day, 6 days a week. I arrived at such a clockwork time that the cashiers would get the case and put it on the counter to the point I just walked in and handed them a debit card while giving them some quick friendly greetings. I would drink all but 1-2 and push those to the back of the fridge. They would pile up back there 1-2 at a time, and then on Sunday I had plenty of beer in the fridge to drink in the morning. This was necessary because the stores would not sell me alcohol until after 12pm on a Sunday by state law.
I had mild to medium problems. I was occasionally late, occasionally surly, and often came into work reeking of beer. However, my work got done, I maintained a few relationships and friends, and I essentially operated at a level that people just considered me a party guy who could be an asshole sometimes. I truly had no idea my life was not on track. I blamed my bosses for 'being dicks' and always 'singling me out' but I had no major troubles.
I finally ended up in some serious trouble for being an asshole, not drinking, some years later, and I vowed to change some shit around. I started setting rules for myself like no drinking on a weeknight and shit like that. Today, I can still crush a twelve pack on a Friday night in front of an MMO after my kid is asleep, but I am no longer late to work, have garnered many awards and positive connections throughout those next 10 years of my career, and am on track for full benefit retirement along with multiple job offers lined up for afterwards from people who consider me a reputable person.
Thus, when someone tries to tell me that alcoholism is defined by how much you drink, I tell them that they don't know shit about it.