TIL- People who are owned by cats are 40% less likely to die of a heart attack.

Also, this, because I came here to say this, logging in just to upvote this. I know this will never be seen but I found this gem that will be downvoted to hell/buried but I have an upvote for you, good sir. You are a gentleman and a scholar, you magnificent bastard. Someone give this man Reddit Gold because, Ann Frankly, I did Nazi that coming. That escalated quickly, so to the top with you, because I lost it at this post, because this is why we can't have nice things.

In other words, faith in humanity restored, whoa / mind = blown. Also, many tears were shed cutting onions because I know that feel bro. It hit right in the feels while being a risky click. Yep, nailed it because of you. I like you. I regret that I only have one upvote to give, because they cost around tree fiddy. But I was not disappointed.

Wait, why do I have you tagged as this post is tagged? What did I just read? Dafaq? How is this WTF? Seriously, YOU HAD ONE JOB. And because of this, I can't fap to this. It's totally not my cakeday, so whatever you're doing, stahp. For science.

Okay, that's enough internet for me today. -2/10 would not bang or even hug. Really, what is this I don't even... /r/circlejerk must be leaking. Better lawyer up, delete my Facebook, and hit the gym... Said no one ever. I do have the weirdest boner right now, though. However, directions were unclear, as my dick is now stuck in my own mouth, as I laughed much harder than I should have. It's almost like Reddit is thousands of different people with thousands of different opinions.

But, get ready for this. Plot twist: Step one: be attractive. Step two: don't be unattractive. Can confirm, I am attractive. I have two broken arms, a combox, a pair of cumboxers, a great jolly rancher, my cat Wednesday, a bag of Doritos, Colby, a bad case of Dagobah (Ass Injection Infection), a hambeast, a shitfisting potato, and vaginal bacon.

Edit: wow I can't believe my top comment is about potentially being on the front page, even though it wasn't my first post. Thanks guys! Obligatory front page edit is over.

Edit 2: REPOST (banana for scale), step 4: profit.


/r/todayilearned Thread Parent Link - news.bbc.co.uk