Tinder date gone weird

Oh, that reminds me of one of my friends, that I still hang out with to this day and we're on good terms, but I don't invite her at my house anymore.

So, let's caller her Dannie. Dannie and I met in high school and we got along well right from the start. I had two other close friends back then, and I got along really well with them, but they didn't share any of my (nerdy) interests. With Dannie, however, I shared many interests and we would talk about movies, tv shows, manga, superheroes, games, roleplaying, DnD etc. At the time, she was having some issues with her friend group (they were belittling her constantly), so I invited her to join mine.

Her family house is outside the town (where our school is), so she would wait for a bus at the station that just happened to be right across the building where I lived. Our classes would be over at 12:45, it takes around 5 minutes to get from the school to the station, but then she'd have to wait until 2pm for the bus to arrive. My dad would return from work around 3pm and mom would return around 4pm, so I invited her to hang out at my house until her bus arrives.

At 1:50pm, I am like "Oh, I'll come out to keep you company until your bus arrives!" and she's like "Oh, the bus won't be coming yet, we don't need to leave." At 1:55 I asked her if we should leave now, she was like "No, no." At 1:58 (XDD) I asked her and she was like "Don't worry, I'll tell you when". So I figured that the bus doesn't come at 2pm like I thought. So, around 2:15, I asked her again (I didn't mean to rush her, I was just a little baffled I guess?) and she told me "Oh, the bus already went." I asked her how she's gonna go home, and she said she'll go by foot. It takes around 1 hour by foot to get to her house, but it was still day time, so I figured it'd be okay.

Anyways, we continue talking, my dad comes home at 3pm, we talked quietly while he rests, at 4pm my mom returns from work, makes lunch, we invite Dannie to ear with us, then we return to my room. Now, we've kinda run of things to talk, and we spend long minutes in complete silence before one of us comments on something and the other one replies (and we weren't watching nor playing anything; we just sat on the floor across each other) and then long minutes of silence again. I didn't try to find something else to talk about, hoping she'll get the hint and go, but she seems to be content just sitting there and not doing anything. This continues until 6pm, where I tell "Ahh, I have to study, ughh" and I wasn't even lying, we had a test the next day, that I was mostly prepared for, but I wanted to go over it one more time (it wouldn't take me more than two hours). She doesn't say anything. Through the next two hours, I keep repeating how I have to study for tomorrow, and after 6th (or so) time, she says "Yeah, I know, you already said that."

Also, since she didn't come home by bus, her mom called her a few times, asking where she was and when she'll be back, and Dannie was like "I won't be coming yet." Around 7 pm or so, before we had dinner, she started calling her more frequently, telling her to come home but Dannie would say "Stop bothering me, I'm at friend's place, I won't be coming yet" and when I told her she should go so not to worry her mom, she said it's fine because her mom knows where she is.

So, she called her brother to come pick her up at 11pm, and it was pretty much only because my mom came to ask her when she'll be going home, cuz her and dad wanted to go to bed (they had to get up early for work). My mom later told me that she'd come up with excuse earlier, but she thought that we were actually studying in my room (we both had the same test the next day).

Originally I planned to offer to hang out at my place after school until her bus arrives, but after that I made some excuses every day XD

One (of the many) time(s) this happened again was during one summer holiday, when we came back home from our universities (around 4-5 years ago). We were outside, but I was dealing with some digestion issues and stomachache, so I apologized and said I had to go home. She asked if she could drop by my house for a class of water, and I said sure because it was hella hot outside. Once she's inside, however, she sits down to chat with my mom a little, and out of politeness I keep them company. I complained a little about pain and said that I'll be going to lay down after she goes (which might have been rude, but I hoped she'll get the hint). Then, 3 hours later, my mom finally excused herself and said she needs to get ready to go out. When she went to her room, Dannie turns to me and asks "So, what are the two of us going to do now?" and I was like "Dannie, I'm sorry, but my stomach hurts, let's hang out another time" and even then, she kept delaying but I half-chased half-begged her to go XD

The thing is, we get along pretty well in general. Like, so many years later, and we're still friends, we still talk from time to time and we still share some things in common. The only thing that bothers me really, is that when she drops by, she won't leave for the whole day, even if I tell her that I had other plans or that I have work to finish. So I just try to avoid inviting her over.

Interestingly, she got a new boyfriend in December (they got together pretty fast) and in January, he invited her to stay at his place until her dorm opens (she is still at university and she wanted to finish some stuff there before new semester starts, but the dorm opens only few days before the start of semester), which was supposed to be around one week - but, six months later, she's still there and from what she says, he doesn't seem to mind at all.

/r/offmychest Thread