I will try to explain this is best as I can. As I began to relax into who I am, things became more obvious such as what is important (in my case love, happiness, joy, peace, calm) and which were keeping me from these (fear, jealousy, envy, anger, pride) and so I began a radical shift in how I viewed the world. I began to seek out things that caused the former and things that eliminated the latter, but I also found that like a leash, my habits and methods of thinking would hold me in place. As I meditated, my methods of thinking and ultimately my habits began to shift in order to better serve my desire to seek out love and happiness, but regardless of how much I would try and force it, this shift had to take its own time to sink down into my deepest parts. Although I knew that I wanted love, happiness, joy, and peace, I found that I would become fearful of many things and keep myself from achieving these states in their entirety. I would fear that people would treat me differently (the worst of these fears is those that treated me lovingly would no longer treat me lovingly despite the poor logic of this). The biggest progress is made when you can shift your mental attitude from allowing fear to keep you in place to allowing love to guide you to where you want to be. This has been the main focus of my meditation practice in the past few years and it has been incredible, but I must warn you that with great emotional pleasure, there is the potential for great emotional pain. This is something that I have learned and it threw a huge curveball into eliminating fear from my life. You must find a way to not fear this outcome and simply accept it. If you wish to know how I was before as opposed to how I am now, the difference is night and day. Before I thought I wanted women, riches, material possessions, and anything that would fill that hole inside of me. A good meditation to realize that this is not likely what you want is to visualize you having all of these things and in that same visualization, point out what is actually making you happy. Having too little can cause fear which fuels this desire of material possessions which in turn causes you to believe this is what you need for happiness because happiness cancels fear, and fear cancels happiness. You believe that eliminating the fear will create the happiness, but all it does is open your eyes to whatever fear comes next. You must fill your life with real love (whatever that means to you) in order to cancel out all fear in order to be happy. I hope this helps