At this point I'd just be happy to have engaged and enthusiastic vanilla.

I'm up for the challenge.

She's told me what happened. She went to a bar but she swears nothing happened. She waited six months after she came home to tell me about it. Even if she didn't fuck someone else she went to that bar with the intention. That hurts enough on its own. I'd be lying if I said I was over that. But we have talked about it and she's apologized on multiple occasions. She seems over it. I think I'm the one stuck. I dont feel angry about it. I think I'm just hurt still.

And before it's suggested yeah I've asked her about couples counseling. That got shot down. I went alone for a year and a half. I feel like as an individual I am in a better place. I can see how I played my part in our decline. It was both of us. I accept my role and I have made progress to change. She has acknowledged that I'm a different person. In ways it's been a humbling experience. But I'm ready to regain our sex life and make us connected again.