First pregnancy I was the one with the drawer of condoms, and on birth control so it was a surprise to get pregnant. Second one it was the very day we had stopped using condoms and I wasn't on any other birth control and we had just begun discussing trying for a second baby. Things were good between us. My hormones were getting steady, (doc told me that up to two years is very normal to still feel crazy from pregnancy and breast feeding) and our lines of communication were open. We began discussing opening up as things were settling back to what a normal relationship should feel like. We had routines and steady income, were on top of everything financially, bought a newer vehicle, and generally felt stable and secure and in love with each other. Cue one night of no condoms and bang, baby cooking. I know it was that night because we didn't have sex the rest of the month because I felt like shit emotionally and physically - which is when the culprit was discovered that new baby was most likely causing the new lack of sex wanting.

Also, one time I did try just going to my mothers for a weekend. While driving there she decided to call the police and say i was fleeing an abusive relationship. The cops called me and said I need to return home immediately and give a statement. Things got cleared up with the law enforcement pretty quickly, nothing happened. No abuse occurred. I just needed a weekend break. This damaged my relationship with my mother and now I don't turn to her for anything. We have moved and lived in 3 different cities in 3 years, so don't have any friends around and don't know anyone other than my co-workers and other moms from mom/baby groups. My old friends from first city have also all moved provinces to get on with their own lives and travel and explore.

The funny thing is the most support I have comes from his parents. They live a 1-2 hour plane ride away (quite the long drive) but have offered to let me stay with them if I ever need a break. He has never laid a hand on me, and never made me feel like I need to be worried for my own or my daughters safety. So that is no concern. But the emotional and mental manipulation has got to end, it's so transparent that his family recognizes it.