I've been arguing elsewhere in this thread and wanted to save this for last. /u/realkingofh is so on point with his message here. I can say actually that I can relate a lot. One day I was thinking of leaving and after some contemplation and frankly some discussion not too different from this thread I started to question what is "the best way" to go. It was no longer "if" but "how".

I had this thought, admittedly selfish, that a good way to go would be to do what I want until I ran out of gas and just died. It turns out what I wanted to do of all things was to teach. But I was lazy and depressed I hadn't become certificated and wasn't to be hired. After my contemplation I figured that instead of taking away from people and leaving behind stuff for them to take care of I would put something in - leave something good behind. I would die with dignity being kind to others. The opposite of a school shooter.

So I went to the school and I volunteered to be tutor, for free. I had no money so I would be homeless. In time I began to smell but I just kept going. Something about just doing what I wanted to do long enough though just turned things around. I saw doctor and got some medicine and started working at the school. I still think about it all the time actually. That on my death march I got lost... and got a life.