Today, the guy who does tree removal and masonry work on my property told me to call him when I "want to get plowed."

I'm a house painter and was doing a job recently. Normally when I encounter crown molding on an old house I don't bother to caulk it because the wood tends to warp in the winter and would peel away from the caulk making the painting job look bad. This lady wanted it filled in with caulk though since she was planning to sell the house and just wanted it to look good until then.

Anyway, there were some pretty big gaps between the wall and the crown molding that required multiple applications of caulk and she asked why and I said "well, the caulk shrinks a bit when it dries and these gaps open up and keep sucking all the caulk..." and for just a microsecond her eyes opened really wide and she did that snorting thing like when you're trying to stifle a laugh and I realized she heard me talking about "cocks shrinking" and "sucking all this cock" and I was like "Oh! I mean... I mean..." and couldn't think of what to say.

/r/self Thread