Today, the man who raped me a year ago showed up at my doorstep.

To OP: I'm really glad that you were able to find some closure. What you did was very brave and I'm proud of you. It takes a lot of hard work and a lot of pain to to reach the point that you can move on, and it's great that you have reached this point in your healing.

I don't think right or wrong is important here. The guy seems genuinely remorseful about what he did, as he should be, and the fact that he was willing to be arrested tells me that he's willing to own up to his actions. Now you two can part ways and live your own lives, and I hope that he chooses to seek professional help and guidance to deal with what he did. But he's out of your life now, and you're free to live yours.

To some of the people in this thread: Please keep in mind that OP, and all other victims of rape and other forms of abuse, are still victims. They have been wronged and hurt and they are absolutely entitled to feel however they feel about it. They are not required to forgive and forget and they should not be pressured to do so if they aren't ready. Ideally, forgiving and moving on is best. But it is not something that can be forced. Just because OP was able to move on and forgive the person who hurt her doesn't mean every other rape victim should suddenly do the same. If someone traumatizes and hurts you, you're allowed to feel whatever you feel about it. You're allowed to be angry about it. And anyone who tells you that you shouldn't be angry about it or that you need to just let it go is full of shit. Negative emotions aren't inherently unhealthy, they're a normal part of life. You can't heal a wound by yelling at it and telling it to stop hurting so much. It's totally normal and okay to hate someone who hurt you - the important thing is that you learn to cope with it in a way that it doesn't define you for the rest of your life or affect your ability to live a normal, healthy life.

/r/offmychest Thread