I wish that Bell-Sympatico (2005-2008) was half as dilligent (daytime staff were okay. but the s-s they outsource to after hours-- They've insisted that I pinch my nose and claim to be someone else so that they could remove someone from my address before- and sure as hell don't know a damn thing about connecting to the internet.)

My father kept having them reset my accout so that he could access my email with Outlook Express.
As every set of roomates NOT also competent IT. (D- Bell employee roommate, and his envy of my original Sympatico lease.) And Bell "helpfully" set them up w/ Outlook Express to download (an unbenownst to me, automatically delete) my email over any internet connection.

(Just those incidents relating to email, not access or other services.)

TD Bank: But you accepted our $2500/month "student plan" email even though the standard account costs you nothing for unlimited use...
(three months later) TD Bank: But you accepted our $2500/month "student plan" email even though the standard account costs you nothing for unlimited use.
(two weeks later)
TD Bank technical services desk: But you accepted our $2500/month "student plan" even though the standard account costs you nothing for unlimited use... by email? Who. The hell.
TD Bank technical services desk: Could you go across the street and grab a drink, then come back in 15 minutes while I sort 'this' out.
(15 minutes later, shouting in distance)
TD Bank (Technical desk is now deshevled and sweaty, a nervious atmosphere seems to have hushed the floor)
TD Bank technical services desk: We can refund the recurring fees, but the person-usage fees can't be taken off.
Me: I'll accept this if you can garuntee this won't happen to me again.
TD Bank technical services desk: Oh... I garuntee that. won't. be an issue.
Me: Good! Did you want this drink? I grabed a few.

Model's Parents: WTF do you want us to give you to put your hands around our daughter's hips? They are heartbroken that you havne't followed through with this. We are paying for the suits, lessons and stage. Is it money!? $2k! No? $3k! $3k and you can keep the suits! Me: I did not get an email with the details. Could you send a courier to [my address]?

Models: You skipped out on our plans to lean how to dance, this was your idea! Me: Wah! This is the first I am hearing of these plans.
Models: Here is the last email printout.
Me: This isn't my email address.
Models: How!? But we were replying to your replies. The lessons have already finished. :( ^{direct quote}

(weeks later)
Model's Parents: F- you. We contacted your (father) as your email directed. You- you will never hear from us again. Me: I never sent any such email! Send me a copy of what ever email you recieved to [my address] so I can get to the bottom of this.
Model's Parents: This is An email. Liar! F-- you! ^{direct quote}

Bell: You canceled your lease (incl. your servers IP and bundled unlimited longdistance calling) by email.
Bell: And "You" called up today, yesterday, the day before to reset the password a few minutes after you chaged it online. how do you forget it so quickly you g-d idiot. Betwen calling us from (a number outside the city I live and work in) and getting home.

(repeat this one about a dozen times.)

Bell: Resetting your password.
Me: The f-? You can stop resetting my password for everyone NOT calling from this number. Bell: I'm certain no-one someone else has the "Bell One" account number (that you have declined repeatedly in writing, and are not allowed to deactivate.) by callign from any payphone and requesting your number be moved to it, thereby subverting control of your accounts.
Bell: "Besides, to change your password they need to know your phone number, nobody knows that." ^{direct quote}

Bell: Also, pay your bill! it's $320 because of changed authorized by email.
Me: I have not recieved the bill in the mail.
Bell: "Liar! It's an e-bill. sent to the email you cannot... Well f- you liar. Liar. Liar. Liar." ^{this is a direct quote. What does Bell do to make their employees so fiercely loyal?}

MusicWorld (via lawyer): We have blocked your email address, and have reported you to our peers as a nusiance spammer. "Accusing our employee of assault w/ a weapon then redacting it when we try to follow up is not an appropriate subject for a joke, you stupid kid. Getting your friends to report him harassing you is not a joke." ^{Direct quote. This was resoved when their employee who was in the habit of following me around the mall and flashing that damn knife, got tackled and beaten down by liquor-store employees. -- I searched for varations on "2008 food court security grabbed knife LCBO confused customers call 911", intending to link to an actual news article showcasing this unexpected heroism. LCBO employees tackle and beat down alot of people :/ .}

Institute IT Admin: No, the project files you desperately need to complete your thesis, but are not allowed to transport via portable drive, disc, printout or conventional file service because of politics--
(in stereo) ['](\s Fuck politics.)
Institute IT Admin: --are clearly being sent from our server, and being acknowledged using... Outlook!? You exclusively use Firebird! Change your password!
Me: I do, but Bell changes it back for everyone else... Wait? Outlook, as in Outlook Express?

Father: I deleted the large files you keep sending yourself for you. You can't let the PST get too large or the email gets broken. Let me show you how to clean out your inbox.
Me: First of, the goddamned hell are you doing deleting my email. Second, I don't use Outlook. I haven't since you kept bringing back trojans that hozed our computers using Outlook to get in.
(Another long argument about how Microsoft is perfect and that I am inferior. inwhich he also spells out how he's responsible for all of the above because he's perfect and has to "do this for [me]".)

It is also worth noting that Father never had any legal access to any of my accounts. Bell just gave it to him because "He's [your] dad, Ingrate!" ^{again, direct quote.}

Note: Bell has since implemented much more stringent policies since the time frame these incidents took place. These new policies require verification of account by private invoice/account numbers, as opposed to identifying a single acount by public information such as phonenumber/username and billing name. No clue as to the dilligence or efficacy of these measures-- or if Bell-afterhours will still tell callers what they need to say.