I was with DH for 3 years when we got engaged, and over 4 years when we actually got married. Sometime in between engaged and married, SD7 told me she wishes she could call me mom. I told her once we are married, I would be her stepmom, and if she wanted to call me Mom that’s great and if she wanted to call me BlueLimes that’s great too.

Soon after BM called DH in a huff about it, was upset etc. DH stood his ground, said I WOULD be a stepmom once were married but in no way are we like “call me mom”. This is something SD arrived at on her own and we handled it correctly IMO by giving her freedom to make her own choices.

Well, now BM is engaged to a guy she’s been with for 1.5 years and what does he do? Tell SD to call him Dad now.

And in BMs eyes, that is okay, of course.