My most recent ex was engaged when her fiancé died. She definitely has major trauma from it. It would appear a lot more in bad times than in good times, but still some random showings.

I think about some of the times she lashed out and reading “just wasn’t her”. In this post, I don’t feel the husband had any malice when he said that. Whereas my ex definitely would have malice when she’d bring up her fiancé. And I never took it to heart. We were fighting, she was angry. Ever see a vampire movie when someone holds a cross up and the vampire just laughs and takes it from them, says some shit like “you have to have faith for that to work”? That was my inner dialogue when she’d bring up her ex to try and make me jealous. “Cool story, bro. But I’m still here”.

And even though I never said anything like that to her, I feel like she knew that it meant nothing to me. And that must have been really hard on her. Imagine someone looking down on your pedestal. It really dawns on me today that I handled all of that so poorly for her mental health. Lord knows all of our relationship had problems, but I probably should’ve done a better job when she would lash out because of her feelings about him.