Thank you everyone. He knows I've been doubting because he is not doing much about it other than save and "prepare" her for it. Hasn't had sex with her according to him because he just can't be with anyone but me, we are very active so I believe that.

Years ago I decided to prepare myself to leave my marriage and then I had a baby so I put the brakes on it but I'm stillbvery unhappy and feel mentally abused by my SO. I'm never at peace. I would love my life with AP but I've told him if I leave and he doesn't I will still be happier than at my current home situation. He says he thinks I don't believe him but he is doing it.

I don't trust people so putting all my trust in my AP says and seeing no action hurts me even though he says he will. He is a good person and has a good heart but it seems she does too and I can't see him hurting her.

I'm mentally exhausted, can't sleep, have ideas and plans and I work a lot so my kids can be taken care of because I can't trust my SO if I say I leave now.

Yes patience comes a long way, I might have to pause my plans and reevaluate. I will divorce, no question, and I've said this for years but I've never felt as strong to do it as I do today.