It took almost 3 years, but I’ve finally found the peace I’ve been searching for.

To be honest, I don’t know where my hope comes from.

I’ve recently been to the hospital a few times because of a heart problem I’ve been having, and a friend of mine died in a car accident three weeks ago today.

I guess my hope is not for a better life, because most of that is not in my control. I have hope that I can improve and grow through whatever life throws at me. I hope my heart can be healed, but mostly I have hope that no matter what the outcome, I’ll learn and grow through the experience.

Hope seems like a prison when dealing with loss. No amount of hope will let me get a minute more with my friend. Instead of holding out hope for future in that situation, I’m learning to accept events as they are. In a way, I let go of hope for the future in order to truly appreciate the present. I’m grateful for every moment I could spend with him.

I’m not sure if that helps you at all, and I’m sorry if it doesn’t. I hadn’t really considered that question before until now.

/r/exchristian Thread Parent