Just to be clear, i dont live under a bridge but the roof thats usually over my head hasnt been my own since september 2016 unless you count the three months i lived in my practice space, which i apparently can still do discretely if i needed. The homelessness is more the uncertainty of the fact if ill ever have my name on a lease with my own room and a place to actually set up and play my guitar in my own environment, which I do get a week of starting today while I house sit for my girlfriend for the next week. I kinda need to outline the story and explain the timeline of it all a bit in depth, which would take forever. I feel that, while i have my situation under control somewhat for the time being, homelessness is just the only word i know that describes this situation.
As a result of spending the money meant for car payments, insurance, rent, taxes, health insurance, food, clothes hygiene and savings on solely on guitar gear (mainly a small collection of pedals), i will eventually end up with nothing, hiding the fact that i will be one day living full time in a practice space again just waiting for the day our local gentrification process takes that away from me.
So many details to explain to really help anyone understand, but the bottom line is that im about 15,000 in debt, no car, no rental lease (aside from the rehearsal space that my main band helps pay for), no computer, no steady place to relax or set up any amount of the gear i own, and no realistic plan for digging myself out of the hole ive dug myself in before all of the gracious and luck-slathered opportunities decide to stop completely. Im basically a dead man walking at this point and Im just waiting for the incident that leaves me begging in the street.
And it all started with 300 dollars that i no longer wanted to pay toward my car so I used it on a Strymon Deco instead. Steadily, my random and frequent 250-300 dollar purchases of pedals have dug me into this hole. Luckily I havent bought any pedals since the Bitquest and have acquired most of my favorites through trades. I seem to have broken the habit for now.
But the last 400 bucks in my IRA arrives sometime this week and its going to be everything I can do to not spend half of it on a new pedalboard, but if i dont it will surely be a gram of the finest methamphetamines.
The straw that breaks the camels back isnt far from a reality. Saying it in this post doesnt even have me past my usual level of worry and stress. Man. This is weird.