I’m 21 and Asian. I relate to a lot of your experiences. The following does not apply to all Asians, but are just my thoughts: Loving your Asian self is something that only you can come to on your own. Although society largely deems us unattractive, effeminate, socially inept, and non-sexual, we have to find the truth within ourselves. We have to educate ourselves on who we are, where we come from, our history and rich cultural background. This means to no longer assimilate to White hegemonic ideals of masculinity. These are social constructs made by White people for White people, and adhering to them furthers our self-alienation and internalized racism resulting in a rejection of our Asian identity. I think it’s important to reprogram your mind with thoughts that are in favour of your Asian-ness, and deconstructing the previous self-hating narrative. Work on yourself and discipline your emotions. Be mindful of the media that you are consuming. Strengthen your mind and body.