This is me to a tee. The job, the daily use, the exercise, the book, everything.
I try to tell myself it won’t be forever, but it’s annoying to feel any dependence at all. From conversations with my mom, she was also a functional stoner for much of her life until she had either drug tests for work (she is and was well employed in business) or kids.
I’ve been smoking virtually daily for around 5 years. I’ve had success putting it down here and there of my own volition, but it always begs the question “why not?” And that’s the hardest to answer. I don’t have an issue going without it, but I also don’t seem to see a reason to go without it either.
Enjoy the sunset and the book (I actually visualize stories better sober) and think about the clarity that being sober brings. Recently I’ve been reading studies about long term usage and thinking more about the impact on my exercise.