I have been hiking for most of my life. The moment I got my driver’s license and a car, I began escaping to the White Mountains of New Hampshire for a mountain fix. For many years I climbed those mountains for the joy of being in the woods and on a mountain top. I would choose which mountain I was going to climb by looking at the map and picking a random mountain that had a trail to it. It was luck of the draw. Some summits I loved and some were not so great. The ones I loved, I would frequently return to even if I had just been there. If it rained, and I felt I would not thoroughly enjoy the day, I would not go. If I did not feel well or had some body part that was sore, I would stay home. No big deal. The mountains were not going anywhere. Hiking and climbing mountains was my passion, not my job or my homework. Up until two years ago I hiked when I wanted and where I wanted. I enjoyed every second of it. Two years ago, a friend introduced me to “the list”. The only peak on this list I had not climbed was Owls Head so I decided to climb it. I finished my 48 without even knowing I was doing it. Even though I had marked every summit I had been to on a large wall map, I never wrote dates so I decided to climb them all again. Off I went on my quest for round 2 of the 48 official NH 4000 footers. It started off fun and exciting but it got old really quick. I was letting a list dictate what mountain I climbed. I found myself hiking on days I normally would not because I had to complete the list. I reclimbed mountains that I did not enjoy the first time around simply to check them off the list. Along the way, I met some great people but realized the focus on completing this list takes over. Here are some scenarios I have encountered: Friend A wanted to go hiking but already climbed what friend B wanted to do and friend B already climbed what friend A wanted to so off they went on their separate ways. Friend A and B both needed the same peak and talked about doing it together on a particular date but Friend A decided to do it with someone else on that same date and not include friend B so that she could jump ahead on the list. It is a beautiful clear sky day but instead of enjoying the weather and view on an open peak and ridge, friend A and B want to do Mount Hale because all the other good ones have been climbed already even though friend C wanted to take advantage of the beautiful weather. I could go on and on with scenarios I have encountered but I am sure you catch my drift and most have experienced at least one. I have also seen people put their health and safety in jeopardy by hiking in bad weather because they needed this peak and didn’t want to come back and try again. It was not about the view and scenery for them, it was about the number. My time up in the mountains was not as consistent as it was when I was younger. I had a full time job and a family. I found myself declining invitations for non 4000’ hikes because if I was able to get to the mountains, I HAD to climb a 4000 footer on my list. This past spring, I heard a friend say she just wanted to finish the list so she can start hiking whatever she wanted again. That was my wakeup call. I did not want to turn out to be what she became, a slave of this list. I did not want to feel like I had to hike in pain because I was just a couple away from finishing. That is when I took a big step. I tore up my list. I was tired of assigning a number to all my hikes. I was done. I refused to let a list ruin a passion. I missed my bushwhacks, plane crash sites and hidden gems. There was more to the mountains than just these 48 official 4000 footers. I missed having absolutely no reason to hike a mountain other than just wanting to. I was done. It was the best decision I made. That friend I just referred to has not been able to hike for over 2 months because she ignored her knee pain and now needs surgery. With only 2 peaks left, she probably would have been finished by now by decided to ignore her body and only focus on finishing the list. I only have four more to climb to finish my second round. I’ll eventually finish but it is going to be on my time and they will take the back seat to other climbs I have wanted to do that are more exciting. I do not care if I can’t get a patch and certificate because I tore up my list with the dates of the climbs. I do not hike for patches, certificates and bragging rights. I hike for myself and that is how I decided to keep it. I do not care what number I am on and I do not care what number anyone else is on. Finishing this list is not going to make me a better person or hiker.
No one knows what tomorrow will bring. There are too many amazing things to see and climb, I am not going to let a list prevent me from experiencing them. If I had to give advice to someone, I would say to use the list as a starting point but not as your primary focus. Enjoy the mountains. See them for their beauty not as a number and one step closer to a patch. You will get so much more out of it.