It's strange losing a loved one who you took up so much of your life, then dating someone who knows absolutely nothing about it.

yeah, it kind of is.

It's obviously not their fault, how could you expect them to know? Or expect them to feel a certain way about a person they never met?

DO you expect the guys you date to feel a certain way about your late brother, or do you just expect them to not dog him out in front of you? Because those aren't the same things.

The closest I can gt to where you're at is the fact that I started dating my boyfriend a year after my mother died of cancer. My mom and I were tight and it bums me out that she never got to meet him. She would have loved him. She would have adored his daughter, too. And I wish he could have met her, too- I wish that all the time. I feel a little bit like.... eh, I dunno... like he missed out on getting to know the person who put so much of herself into raising me. Like... he would know me so much better had he met my mother. But then I think he sort of has met her... through me... because she put her indelible stamp on me. I get a little maudlin sometimes, but this is what puts it into perspective for me: my mother loved me. She wanted me to be happy. I am happy. I miss her, but I'm in a good place, I have a good life with a good man. I'm doing and being what she wanted for me. That's enough.

I am sure your brother wanted the same things for you- to be happy, to be in a good place. Everyone you meet will see the good parts your brother put in you and they will know him through you. They may feel some kind of way about him because of the stuff you have described, but they don't need to talk shit about someone you love. He's not endangering you now- they can just keep their opinions to themselves.