God. Both of my parents are toxic as hell as well. One is verbally abusive (used to be physically abusive) and another one is a manipulative gas lighting always-feels-like-the-victim one. One does not work at all but tries to control EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS HOUSE. All the good deeds I do are always being responded to "well that is your job, that is your responsibilities anyway, what's surprising about it?". 1000 good deeds vs 1 sin = they always point out that 1 sin EVERYTIME. I always feel like moving out of this toxicity, and I am actually capable of owning a house or an apartment. I am tired of this BS, I am tired of keeping everything clean but then the place gets dirty and messed up just an hour later. I am tired of pretending to have a happy familt but in reality everything is FAKE. I want to live my own life in my own sanctuary.

But what should I do? How can I convince those pair that I am moving out? They don't even see me moving out as "belajar berdikari" but instead "kan lari dari rumah, inda lagi sayang keluarga, kan buang keluarga, kan JADI ANAK DERHAKA" SERIOUSLY?

I guess to them the only way for me to move out is "KAHWIN" a man and live with that man for the rest of my life. Even typing this makes me frustrated and sad. Does anyone else have the same problem? How do you guys cope with this? Sometimes I feel like calling Talian Harapan but always feel hesitated to do so.