But finding someone attractive, and worthy of dating, and then dropping them once you find out they're trans? That is transphobic.
No it's not. Even if they have the correct genitalia, post-op vaginas are not the same and it is valid to not be attracted to someone with this type of genitalia. It is also valid to not want to date someone who is infertile. It is also valid to not want to date someone who has lived much of their life as a man, if dating someone who was born a woman is important to you as a lesbian with respect to feeling comfortable. You're views are just offpoint, here.
If there would be interest or was interest, but now there isn't because the person is trans, that's pretty much the definition of transphobia.
You can't discriminate against people when you're hiring them, but you sure as can do so when you're choosing who to sleep with. Why you don't see the difference is puzzling to me.
And also, to be clear, just because it's transphobic doesn't mean they should actually hook up. People are allowed to be transphobic. No one owes anyone else a relationship, whatever the reasoning. But that still doesn't stop it from being transphobic.
Shaming people for their preferences leads to people "sucking it up" and dating people they are not attracted to. This leads to rape.
No you didn't. You highlighted two comments saying that transphobia often hides behind genital preference, and read your own biases in to that that means.
I explained in my post why this line of thinking is problematic, but you have not addressed it because I don't think you have a rebuttal.
No, it's not. Not wanting to date someone with traits typically associated with biological makes is valid. Not wanting to date someone who's "biological maleness" you only ever know about because they tell you about it, that's transphobia.
You're policing people's sexual preferences by attacking their character, that is wrong. There is nothing wrong with preferring a non surgically created vagina on your partner. I personally can understand why someone would not be attracted to someone with a vagina that was surgically created with colon tissue, that has hairs in it, and has to be dilated daily so it doesn't close up. And I can understand why someone might not be attracted to a cis woman if they dislike their genitalia for some reason. My point is is that you are basically saying it is wrong for people to not be attracted to trans vaginas, which is abhorrent.