Sorry your had to go through this, I can understand your anger. But I'm not going to sugar coat it for you, assuming he's normal libido and has no issues you're not clear about what you want from him.

Anyway, the title of the post is just something I need to vent about last night. I've been trying to initiate sex all day, for days. I did it hard today too. I would hold his hand, kiss him when It wouldn't be too clingy, I even touched myself on the bed when he was there, then commented how my vibratory batteries went dead x (

If my SO did these things I would not assume automatically she wanted me to jump her bones. Maybe cuddle of touch her back but this stuff does not equate with wanting to have sex. Be more direct. Further more o I would get angry of she tells me later she's disappointed I didn't react to her initiation. Not good.

I told him we didn't have to have sex, but I wanted to just blow him. Really just to express my love. This. Why didn't you just do that from the beginning instead of skirting around what you want?? This drives guys nuts, tell us that you want us to fuck you, or whatever and we'll be happy to do it, ecstatic even.

Bottom line: don't assume he understood what you wanted. be more direct and open in what your want. If he rejects you then you have all the right to get mad.