Man. I feel really bad for these people. Just trying to get hitched and you get some bullshit photos like this. I really do feel for people who don't have a huge budget for wedding photos, which is why it pisses me off that some dumbass who bought a DSLR and pirated photoshop is taking their hard earned cash for this nonsense.
First off, all the hilariously terrible digital effects. OH THE WORLD IS BLACK AND WHITE EXCEPT FOR THE MIRROR HOLY SHIT CALL THE TATE MODERN. WOW YOU ADDED IN SOME BUBBLES BECAUSE THOSE ARE TASTEFUL AND CLASSY. My favorite piece of digital "art," though? Definitely this one:
http://www.mccoshphotography.com/Client-Galleries/Older-galleries/Matt-Kylie/i-56VkrnT/A
Oh, heavens to betsy! I thought we were dealing with a DSLR but it looks like this guy has gone legit and is using a medium format film camera! Wow, props, those things are pretty cool. It appears he's even gone on and done some kind of cool modification to his camera, so he can take a double wide exposure onto two frames at once. Neat!
OR WAIT ARE YOU JUST AN IDIOT WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW FILM WORKS?! AAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH. "I've never even seen a medium format camera but I'll put this vintage film look on here because it looks soooo nice!" Um you know if this was an actual film picture, that part doesn't get printed onto the final... whatever. Okay, terrible digital additions aside, look at that picture on more time. http://www.mccoshphotography.com/Client-Galleries/Older-galleries/Matt-Kylie/i-56VkrnT/A
http://www.mccoshphotography.com/Client-Galleries/Older-galleries/Matt-Kylie/i-56VkrnT/A
http://www.mccoshphotography.com/Client-Galleries/Older-galleries/Matt-Kylie/i-56VkrnT/A
THE GROOM'S FUCKING FACE
WHY WOULD YOU EVER WANT A PICTURE OF THAT WHY WOULD YOU EVER TAKE A PICTURE OF THAT
As far as I can tell he's sobering up and being like "man what did I actually just get married fuck"
Also, that steam engine was built in 1939. It was an age of science, mostly black and white, and some color photography. No one really used sepia tone anymore. I don't care if you don't know train history but you should at least know art history if you're going to be an artist (also I found out the age of that train by googling its name + its number, so, 0/100 for effort). (also in 1995 it was converted to diesel, so to be really pedantic it's not even a steam engine anymore. The groom should know all this, and if he doesn't he can hand in his fucking anorak).
The composition of these photos is universally terrible. It looks like this person is overusing a flash, but I'm not really a photographist.
Also, THIS FUCKING PHOTO. WHY?!
http://www.mccoshphotography.com/Client-Galleries/Older-galleries/Matt-Kylie/i-F4j2rdF/A
In summation, can we make this guy a meme?
http://www.mccoshphotography.com/Client-Galleries/Older-galleries/Matt-Kylie/i-hqgFdn6/A
God dammit. I am going to send this on for further analysis to my friend who is an actual wedding photographer.
Oh and of course the last fucking picture ruins the whole train theme by being in front of a trolley, not a train. Can you not.