Yup, this used to be a huge problem for me. When I met my ex, he had gotten out of a 5 year long relationship. I always felt insecure and threatened by it because my longest relationship had been just under 2 years. I felt like I could never relate to that level of intimacy. When we moved in together I was under the impression that I was the first girl he lived with. Soon he mentioned he had lived with his ex. I felt so betrayed, like I wasnt special as his "first live in girlfriend" anymore.

Then once we made it to 4 years I had stopped worrying about it completely. It's weird, but I feel like I've become more rational about past relationships as I've gained more experience myself. Now that I've experienced non-romantic hookups myself and learned just how meaningless they can be, I can deal with a boyfriend's casual history with more understanding and less jealousy. I know that I have no feelings for my past interests, so I can imagine that my SO has grown past their old interests similarly.

But I still find it really rude and triggering to mention an ex for no reason. I had a problem with a guy recently who would tell a story that would've had the same exact impact, regardless of if he had mentioned the person involved was an ex or not. It's like he made it a point to specify, "oh and I actually dated her for a while after." I would get so frustrated!

Now that I'm single I feel so relieved. I have no one to get jealous of. I hope I'll be more rational when I meet my next special person.

(Thanks for posting this. Idk what point I was trying to make by sharing my experience, but it felt good to type it out.)