have you ever thought of journaling them when you're not driving? i had the same exact problem. it became so torturous to drive and work. now that you're not working, would you be able to try journaling your flashbacks after you come back to yourself?

i know it adds insult to injury. boy do i know. it made me sob every single time. i had to get special paper, a new pen, download special healing music, angry music, traumatized music, emotionally evocative music for each type of flashback. what I was taught by a lot of friends with PTSD and by therapists is to "turn into the skid". Meaning, I had to prepare each driving trip with a pad of paper, a pen, and a selection of cd's of music in the seat next to me, for each type of flashback. giving yourself choices when you are flashing back to deal with it is a great way to feel more in control. If you have a cd player in your car that is awesome. if not, if you have an mp3 player to take with you, that is great too.

i found that relaxing music didn't work for me. didn't relax me. too much to deal with. i tried for years to use relaxing music for my ptsd, didn't work or help. so i learned finally from friends to "turn into the skid" and listen to music that fit my mood. i practiced visualizing singing each song as if i wrote it. learned the lyrics of my fave songs that fit my pain. made them mine by using them to emote my pain in the car. it's not dangerous. it's actually grounding and self expressive. which is what you tend to be lacking in a car that is separate from others? cars really triggered me too, b/c my grandpa who sexually abused me picked me up as a kid and took me away regularly.

so i improved my ability to drive by learning journaling while driving, emoting while driving, and meditation practices to control the thoughts in my brain. i used to get the self hatred things in my head. the things i was taught to think, by my grandpa & mom. it is possible to unlearn what we are taught as survivors with ptsd. it just always, stupidly, takes meditation, journaling, and music therapy. daily. b/c that's what you can take with you in a car. very few choices in a moving vehicle with PTSD, lol. also a stuffed animal or toy of your choice helps, but meditation, journaling, & music are free. if you need to know how to download music, i can email you. i get music for my therapy totally free online.

this is what i had to learn to deal with driving. it takes some time for these things to make it better. Also grounding items from home help. anything small you can fit in your car that reminds you that you get to go home eventually and be super safe. also anything you can think of that would make your car feel safe. a pillow in the back seat for when you need to do deep breathing and quick meditation. I used to bend my knees and lay on my back in the back seat and deep breathe and meditate to music. mp3, pillow, work great for this. surprising how that eventually helps. if u can't fit in the backseat, that's ok. just lay on your side and close your eyes listening to music. taking the pressure off, while driving, is key. traffic is all pressure. so is what causes any ptsd. take the pressure off in your backseat. you will find you really like your backseat! then the backseat becomes your non triggering spot in the car and your fave spot. :) but also journaling the triggers and memories. i'm so sorry, but they want to come out. that's why the flashbacks happen. i didn't realize until i got them out that that was why i was having flashbacks. they're gonna keep happening until you turn into the skid. i'm so so sorry you are going through this. it's the biggest hurdle to get thru.

i'm so sorry you have to go through this. the only way through it is to journal the memories that make cars bad while giving yourself better, less traumatizing memories in your car. while not driving anywhere. spend time in your car, make memories. as stupid as that sounds. i hope you know you aren't alone. i was the scared little girl every time i got in that damn hunk of metal. hated it.

i journaled the memories, got in the back seat while it was parked, made it homey, put a permanent pad of paper and pen and music. also studied some auto maintenance & history of autos to feel more in control and less alone. anytime i'm horribly triggered by anything i read the history of it. other people's good memories. you can't ever really make your own. but other people and kids did. made history. other people suffered in their cars like Persons of Color, and still do sometimes. cars are americana. connecting to that by reading some of the history of it can help a lot.

and this is really long b/c i'm really tired. and it's not a simple issue. it's one of the hardest triggers to get over. and i just wanted you to know you aren't alone. hope you can find anything good in here for yourself. you deserve some peace. :)