Alright, here's the story. Summer before last I was dating this guy that I really liked. He was super cute, far more mature than the normal guys I'd been dating, responsible, not an alcoholic and was in a sweet band. We got a long great and even though I was gone for the summer, we talked every day and I visited home about once a month for a week and stayed with him the whole time.
So, even though we liked each other a lot our lifestyles were pretty different. Even though he was in a pretty successful band and would go on tour and party and everything, he was also this grown up man that owned his own house and worked as a programmer for a big local company. Whereas I was this free travelling partier who couldn't keep a job and liked to bounce around and get ridiculously drunk every weekend and hung out with boys all the time. He never asked me to change my ways or anything, but he would openly say he didn't like that I hung out with other guys and would make weird statements like "I never would have ever, EVER dated a girl who smoked before you" or "well, at least you can hold your liquor I guess."
He was also super super insecure. His last girlfriend had cheated on him (for like, years) and I think he projected that onto me a lot. He was also super, super weird about sex. I love sex. Who doesnt? And I know he does too (again, who doesnt?) But he would always withhold it. We dated three or four months and we only had sex one time. It was bizarre. I think it was partially he didn't fully trust me because of his ex, but partially also he was fucked up and I think would withhold it when he didn't like what I was doing, ie getting drunk or smoking or being ridiculous.
So, we ended up breaking up and I was pretty hurt but I was too wild for him and unwilling to change and he pouted and was too insecure for me. So here's where the complications come in, this last year I made a huge life style change. I took a year long vow of celibacy, I quit drinking and smoking, I stopped partying and virtually cut off about 70% of my friend group. I moved back home with my parents so I could get back to school full time and will be graduating with my AA in spring before going to university for my bachelors. And about two weeks ago I contacted him because I was missing something and I realized it was at his house and we've been amicably chatting ever since, and I'm going to go see his show tomorrow night.
The predicament is, I've become exactly his type now (by my own choice, without any thought about him at all so it's not like I changed FOR him) and he's recently switched jobs to become a full time musician, which I think has taken a lot of his stress away. I can't tell if I like him again because I like him again, or if I'm doing that weird thing where you remember all the good parts about a relationship but forget / downplay all the negative parts.
Help me fellow trolls. Advise me. This might be the best thing ever or literally the worst idea I've ever had