First off, I appreciate your browsing through trp, and then posting, without losing your head. It’s usually unsettling for subjects of inquiry to actually find out what is being said about themselves.
Now, your situation. You like alpha men. By your own admission, your father was one and you have personally known, been with, and hope to run into naturally dominant men. It’s not natural dominance that irritates you, it’s attempts at faking it – and that’s understandable. It’s basic human psychology to dislike fakery. A role, or a pose serves only to announce artificiality, and nobody likes that. When it comes to women, it assumes additional significance because posing signifies a need for padding/embellishment on the part of the man, and that directly announces something’s lacking in the man. Big red flag.
There’s another facet to this situation. I don’t doubt for a second that you could read your boy like a book, or could have played him like a flute. Women are emotionally more aware than men, and do a better job of influencing through suggestions, subtle nudges and outright ultimatums (when needed).
But I do doubt when you say he was naturally dominant. If he were so really, he’d have had no need to seek validational advice on the internet. Natural dominance is rooted in self-awareness and self-confidence. I don’t see this trait in your ex, from your report.
I think you inferred he is naturally dominant from his actions in bed, and extrapolated that to other areas. I suspect his dominance in bed is based on skill, rather than instinct. Skill, by definition, is narrow, while instinct permeates everything one does.
You broke up with him because he is not yet a man (you yourself call him a boy). He’s a work-in-progress, a man-in-the-making. You regret losing out on the sex only, which implies except for the sex, he hasn’t got anything else going for him. How old is that boy? What is his educational level? What does he do for a living? How is his physique – height, weight, buffness? Is he good-looking?
Had you truly desired him, you would have at least thought of telling him that you like his unaffected, true self, and that he had better drop all posing and stuff. You could have worked with him to improve him. (Isn’t that what “modern” relationships are all about – sharing and caring, equality and friendship?)
But you thought you couldn’t be bothered with all that, because you have multiple options (you are young, in the prime of your youth). Why be patient with an incomplete product-in-the-making when you can get a finished product anytime? The cognitive dissonance associated with “improving a partner” while maintaining the façade of “romance/magic” of relationships is quite jarring. (There’s this concept of suspension of disbelief and fictive dream that finds application here.)
And that’s absolutely ok. Every man for himself, the devil may go fuck himself.
Your boy’s SMV is low. He made rookie mistakes. He lost a potentially good mate (yes, I think you’re better than the average woman). But this is part of the learning process. If he sticks to the path of self-improvement, and diligently works on his lacunae, he is going to be a much better person sooner rather than later.
One last point. There’s an undercurrent of feminist (admittedly much toned down) mooring to your responses to the comments. Nothing wrong with that. We all have our world-views. But a woman as self-aware as you must have by now noticed a dichotomy between your thoughts about relationships and your actions. Our actions are what define us. Even though you may not like trp’s thoughts on women, you must admit that your actions are quite in consonance with rp theory.