Trying to reach out to someone [22M] who I [21f] think I bullied when I was in school.

I think we're all kind of conditioned to accept apologies. Just the "I'm sorry" kind of puts the pressure on him to respond in some way.

Honestly, man, I want to be all squishy and say that he would appreciate the gesture. I really do.

But, I just don't think he would as I think of this more and more. This kid was generally thought of as "annoying" and was left sitting alone at lunch. That sucks.

The fact that he would approach you though, and the fact that you can recognize that there were some good times had by the two of you... I think it's likely he thought of you as a good friend at the time.

I've had my fair share of bullies through the years. The ones that you thought of as friends... those suck the most. Just like my example above, those are the ones that leave you wanting to know "why". I can much more easily accept a girl in elementary school picking on me 'cause I was fat than I can accept the girl in elementary school that could only be my friend if no other options were available.

Yet, you don't seem to have a clear reason. I don't think you could give him a decent answer to that question. I think if you open this can of worms, he's going to want an answer.

Not saying anything bad about you. Sometimes relationships aren't equally weighted. Sometimes people just rub you the wrong way. Sometimes you rub other people the wrong way. It's fine. It doesn't make any one person better or worse, it just is. In time, you learn to deal with it more appropriately and soften the blows of it. Kids can't be expected to do this very well when most adults can't, either. You were a kid. He was a kid. Y'all are adults now, and I think it's likely best to leave it in the past.

/r/relationships Thread Parent