Trying to rebuild. Failing.

We were in counseling for a few months, just prior to him moving out, then only once more after he moved back. We need to go back. I thought it was helpful, but I think he didnt like what he was hearing from the counselor. (I.e. he was advised not to do the reciprocation route and within a week, he moved out. Was advised to write a letter to our friend that I had confided to, to alleviate some pent up anger and start a dialogue, promptly quit counseling).

I share responsibility for not scheduling appointments either. Side note.. Just got an invoice for 2grand that we owe for our counseling last year. Insurance didnt pay a dime, but we didnt find out until 6 months later..

I realize this a train wreck. He says he wants to stop drinking completely. I think it has been nearly a week since he has, but this is typical. We convince ourselves that it's not a problem anymore and then he's back at it again. I have trouble understanding that he can't moderate, even though I've seen the proof so often.

I think that I'm the worst kind of optimist. I still think we have a chance. I still see the person I fell in love with and married and decided to procreate with in there somewhere. I think I have endured more than most people would in a relationship, both before and especially after the affair, because I know that I went nuclear on our marriage and I dont deserve any better. When I compare us to last year, I think we are better than we were, but when I recall all the instances of hurt just within the past few months, it is still shocking to me.

/r/SurvivingMyInfidelity Thread Parent