Moderation is my issue as well, and I’ve done many 1-2 month abstentions over the years, but always with the escape hatch in my head of returning to drinking “at some point” ... and I always did. I’ve used any number of excuses with friends and colleagues for not drinking; honestly, figuring out and “selling” those excuses has been as hard and stressful for me as not drinking itself.

But I came to the realization that, for me at least, it was best to put the full stop on the table / out in the open. That was really hard, because it perversely feels like admitting weakness/defeat (even though it’s quite the opposite), and I was deeply worried that I would be forfeiting the majority of my future social life. But it had to be done. And I’ve decided to do so without any “temporary” excuses - I’ve just told people I’m done. And after those first difficult few minutes, and they are difficult, it’s so much easier to deal with the situation. Yeah, those social situations when others are drinking are very awkward right now, and probably will be for quite some time, but for me it’s been easier to be direct about it than to try to cover something up. And, excepting close friends, my line has been a pretty straight forward variation of “I’m not drinking / I don’t drink anymore” without sharing any personal info. Maybe I’ve been extremely lucky, but I’ve gotten very little resistance to that statement when I put it out there. People have been understanding without the need to draw it out, and frankly I know a few people are in the same boat as us and just not ready/able to make that step yet.

I would definitely say if you need to remove yourself from a social situation until you’re ready to make the open break, by all means do so. I sure as hell did. And I may do so again. But, as hard as it is, I would encourage you to be direct as soon as you can. When you’re ready.

I wish you the best. We’re not alone. Keep fighting.