Tuesday Check In: How's Everybody's Mental Health?

A few months back I really decided to try and make a positive change in my life. I actively went into dating again and have once again met nothing but discouragement.

When I finally talk to a girl one of the questions that eventually comes up that I dread is them asking about how long I've been single for, to which the answer is 9 years, approaching 10 years. But not because I've spent that time sleeping around or fooling around. In that time I've had a single sexual encounter, because I struggle with sex that isn't with someone I feel in love with.

And the second I tell them that I've been single for that long I feel instantly judged. At first I thought it was just me overthinking things, that their replies getting cold and distant was just me imagining things. But when the 7th woman unmatched me minutes after learning how long I'd been single for it just made me feel like shit.

And the few girls I've gotten to talk to and really got along with, all just ended up wanting to be friends. With some of them I've met them multiple times since, and we are good friends now. But I've always gotten along well with women, I've always had a lot of female friends.

I don't believe in the friendzone, I don't think women owe me sex or relationships. But that doesn't change that I'm really starting to hurt about how any woman I get along with exclusively wants to be friends with me.

I'm an incredibly average looking guy that takes care of himself, I get input from my female friends about clothes and whatever else and I obviusly take care of my hygiene.

Every single one of my friends doesn't understand that I'm still single after so many years of trying to find a partner.

The few times I've tried to voice these thoughts with a friend I'm given the same generic lines of "Just be confident", "You gotta know how to talk to women" and so on. But I know all of this, I'm not an awkward teenager trying to learn how to engage with the opposite sex. I get along with women just fine.

But some days I really feel like I'm just not someone that will ever find anyone to be with, like I'm incapable of being loved.

I just want to feel like I'm wanted. Like I'm someone's priority.

For once in my life.

/r/MensLib Thread