My buddy who's been coaching my transformation says I fucked up.
You're at the point where you can connect in at least some ways, enough to get what you want from dating. So you are the final arbiter of whether you fucked up. This should make you happy and if it doesn't, you SHOULDN'T be doing it. Period.
Think about it. This was a situation where she wanted it and you didn't. I don't get why some people are trying to tell you that you needed to give her sex. You didn't owe her a thing.
You don't have to justify yourself to anyone for having personal tastes.
This is a bit crazy. It's like, someone doesn't like anchovies and people are going to chastise him for turning down free anchovy pizza.