TW: ABUSE of all kinds.

First, I am sorry that anyone here was ever hurt. It should never happen to anyone ever.

Second, I apologize for what I have written below if it triggers anyone. I started writing and out it came. It may sound angry. I was going to delete it but, I want it to be heard. Sorry.

Almost weekly until I was 14, the earliest I can remember is at about 3 or so, my mother would beat me with any implement available. Shoes, kitchen utensils, pieces of lumber, etc.. One of her favorites was a riding crop for horses. She would hold me on the ground by sitting on my chest and slap, punch my face. She would slam my head into the ground while pulling my hair. Sometimes she would choke and throttle me. All the while screaming how much she hated me and wantex me dead. She often said that she wished I was never born and that I ruined her life. She told me that I should have been aborted or that she wished I had been miscarried or stillborn. She would make fun of me and belittle me. Often calling me derogatory names for gay people because I didn't have a girlfriend and liked to play with stuffed animals. They were my friends and family. She told me that if I did turn out gay she would disown me. Then she knocked me down the stairs. Jumped from the top of the stairs on to my chest and did her usual. She would encourage my older brother to beat the crap out of me. And he would. He had no choice. You were with her or against her. The thing is I am not gay. I was just a late bloomer and she thought I was gay because I was confused when all the other boys were into girls and I wasn't. She let me almost die from strep, wouldn't acknowledge that I had a broken arm for two weeks. She made me work like a grown man from the time I was 6 or 7. I was given lists to be completed by my father. He said he did this to keep me out of her way. But, she enforced them in her special way. She made fun of my skinny body. Compared me to my older and bigger brother. I didn't really start puberty until I was almost 16 and she would make fun of that too. Called me names and emasculated me in front of friends and family. She would pick fights with my father until he would be in a rage. And yes she would hit him. No questions about that on the ACES test. Or she would sometimes leave for months at a time. She would come back and see my brother, not me. She manipulated me into believing that my father and grandparents would harm me and hated me. She didn't want me talking. I could go on. But yeah, I know about mothers who are abusive, neglectful, and abandon. It does happen but, people always make excuses for them or disbelieve victims of mothers like this.