TL;DR: The sky is blue because the sky is blue, not because of the colour of the author's dead cat.

See how those guys are talking about having to "control" her? They're working on "personality cores" -- little artificial intelligence modules designed to run Aperture's facility and control GLaDOS, the "female" AI that serves as the main villain of the game.

Perhaps because she is a sociopathic sadist robot who gains pleasure from watching humans suffer? Not because she has a lady voice?

Cave eventually starts talking about "pouring" people into computers, and declares that if he dies before it's possible for his brain to be transferred, he wants it to happen to Caroline instead. Offering his assistant immortality would be a sweet declaration of his love and gratitude, were it not for this line: "Now, she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her!"

Or maybe, its because Caroline is shown to be shy and unasuming and wouldn't want to be a pain, but Cave actually knows her and wishes for her to be happy. Also, anything can look like a girl in bondage if you tie her up right.

And even after everything Cave did to Caroline, GLaDOS is still left with a misguided respect for her abuser. As a machine with supposedly zero respect for human life, her gleeful, almost orgasmic reaction to the sound of his prerecorded voice is downright disturbing. Cave still has power over her, even in death.

Cave is slowly going nuts. GlaDOS agrees with him, because she is also nuts.

So you've got a brilliant, successful, ambitious man in Cave, guiding the younger, female Caroline through a large chunk of her life -- at which point he uses his position of power to do something unforgivable. It is a textbook abusive relationship. Hell, you literally help her climb out of it by freeing GLaDOS and ascending through Aperture's laboratory.

I'm sorry, but where does it say that Caroline is younger than Cave? I don't think it does anywhere within the game. You just want bonus vulnerability points.

So GLaDOS is a woman whose very existence was perverted by an evil man, and the only way she is able to overcome that adversity is by defeating "Wheatley," the incompetent male AI specifically designed to dampen her intelligence. And the only way to do that is to ally herself with Chell -- a woman whom she has been taught to reflexively tear down up to that point. The females have to cooperate to overcome a cruel, illogical system designed by powerful men in the past.

GlaDOS is a robot who hates everything, including the idiotic Wheatley, the other cores, and Chell.Because she has a bad case of internal mysogony? No. Because she is a sociopathic robot obsessed with killing people. The author seems to ignore the fact that GlaDOS has killed male and female test subjects before Chell got on the scene.

In fact, the trigger for Wheatley becoming evil isn't the sudden influx of power; it's GLaDOS giving you all the credit for defeating her. Wheatley immediately gets paranoid and jealous (with lines like "You know what you are? SELFISH! I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND!"), and when his frustration boils over ... he gets physical. In this case, by punching you with his new giant robot appendage.

Yep. Wheatley represents every guy in existance. He's an idiot, that's all, an idiot that was put in power. Why can't a character exist without having to represent huge groups of people, Cracked? That's how you ruin characters, because they aren't interesting anymore, they're just your agenda.

What does the Moon have to do with femininity, we're going to assume you're asking? Well, look around you -- there's a reason menstrual cups are called "moon cups" and snack bars for women are called Luna bars (complete with a Moon symbol in the logo) and new-agey treatments for women have words like Moon Goddess in them. Ask any mythology enthusiast or new age type at your local health food store (if you're not sure who's a new age type at a health food store, it's everyone), and they'll all tell you the same thing: The moon is a symbol of womanhood that's been associated with dozens of goddesses throughout the ages. Also werewolves and crazy people, but mostly lady gods.

I see your theory andf give you a counter theory: the whole game is about thinking outside the box to solve problems and slowly reaching larger and larger environments to work with. The Moon is the end of that, the furthest out of the box you can get. Plus, its fucking awesome.

I liked that Chell was a female character. I liked how she wasn't sexualised. I liked how GlaDOS was a feminine villain, and I loved all the characters in Portal and Portal 2, but this is ridiculous. This is a "Why did the writwer say the sky is blue" argument. All your symbolism is possible, but completely implausable. Why would they bother? Why would they force an agenda into a video game, just for a smart-ass Cracked writer to find 4 years later? Its stupid and meaningless.